Hello, hello, helloo! How are you? I hope you're well.
I just wanted to share something with you that has been on my mind for a while now. Tomorrow is my twentieth birthday and I recently realized: I'm not a child anymore... I was looking at a picture of my Oma (my grandmother), my younger cousin and me. I was probably six or seven years old when the picture was taken. It just suddenly hit me (and that sounds stupid because it's so obvious): I'm not that little girl anymore.
I'm a grown-up, as terrifying as that sounds, it's true. I attend university, I'm working for my future job, and when I blink my time at university will be over and I'll be looking for an actual proper job. Who thought that I'll make it so far? It's mad.
When I was younger, I always wanted to be an adult but now I don't see why I wanted that. The carefree time is over. Now I have to make responsible decisions. I can't hide behind my parents anymore. I have to choose for myself what is best for me. That doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It gives me, in a way, a sense of freedom. I'm free to do whatever I want to do in life. However, there is always that one thought in the back of my mind: Be responsible, be hardworking, so that you'll have a good life and earn enough money to make a living. It's funny how priorities can change over time.
But one thing, I never want to lose, is the inner child. Although I'm an adult now, I never want to take everything too seriously. I know you have to be serious sometimes, but there is time and space to be carefree, the time to remember what it meant to be a child, letting go of all the worries and problems we have. I never want to forget that and I want to treasure all the good memories I made in my childhood, so that these memories can transport me back to being a child whenever I want. It'll probably be good for my sanity. I always want to be an adult and also a child at heart.
I hope you're having an amazing weekend! See you, xx
Instagram: marythisisme